Leaving Old Friends Behind

Have you ever felt guilty about leaving behind an old friend? I know I have. Today, I’m going to share a personal experience with you all because that’s the best way to explain why you shouldn’t be feeling guilty about leaving behind old friends. 

I thought we would be best friends from the moment we met each other. Admittedly, the experiences we shared in the past were fun-filled, but we don’t share these moments anymore.
Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Why do I have this guilty feeling creeping inside of me?
I went crazy trying to think of ways to prevent our friendship from breaking. I would always be the first one to text my friend, make attempts to hang out with her, but it never did work out. That’s when reality hit me: It’s over. The bond you shared earlier is no longer in existence.
If you feel like you are personally responsible for this drift. Trust me, it’s not your fault so stop beating yourself up for it. Naturally, it’s common for old friendships to dissolve gradually. Some of the reasons for this are:
a) You both have made new friends.
b) You don’t share common interests anymore.
c) You don’t feel comfortable and free around each other as you did in the past.
d) There may have been a shift in personality or attitude.

You have to realize that sometimes, friends drift apart for no concrete reason. It kills not knowing why this happens, but it’s a part of life and one should learn to move on from it. 

Have you ever let go of an old friend? Feel free to share your experiences with me in the comments section below. 🙂

thejouska-2

Twitter | Instagram
Advertisements

51 comments

  1. Random Reads · October 25

    I haven’t let go of any friends entirely but I’ve grown apart from most of my friends 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ameena k.g · October 25

    Oh I have. We are still civil and meet-up but the friendship is not as it used to be. And it’s for the best. Life happens and change isnt always bad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sad but true…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. irena_bookdustmagic · October 25

    It’s really hard when you lose someone you were best friends with just because life took you in different directions.
    I lost one of my best friends because we found jobs in different towns and with time, there was less and less phone calls, less and less facebook chats.
    We both found new people to hang out with and somehow we weren’t as close as we used to be. That’s a shame because I really miss her sometimes, but at the same time I feel like she doesn’t even think of me at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 25

      I couldn’t agree more! I can relate to what you’ve experienced with your best friend because that happened to me too. Yes, that’s the worst thing. You keep thinking about them and miss them, but at the same time you feel anxious as to whether or not they’re feeling the same way about you…
      It’s sad, but it’s a part of life. Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. K.M. Sutton · October 25

    First huge huge hugs. Second of all this speaks to me so much. In the last year I have had a couple friendships where we have drifted apart and it not only sucks but also hurts a lot. I do liken it to relationships though, but unlike romance, their isn’t a lot of definition with the guidelines so when friends go their separate ways their isn’t much you can do. Hugs ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 25

      Aw, thank you! I’m glad you could relate. I couldn’t agree more. It hurts because there’s nothing you can do about it, and the worst part is you have to act like everything’s okay. It’s sad, but it’s a part of life. Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂 *Hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

      • K.M. Sutton · October 27

        It is part of life. Exactly! And I think that is the hard part. With romantic relationships it is given you will discuss it or talk it out (hopefully) with friendships they just drift off sometimes for no reason. I try to view it as one door closes another one opens. Anytime sweets. Thank you for sharing yours! Huge hugs! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • thejouskablog · October 27

        Very true, it’s hard but we have to move on in life. That’s the spirit! I’m glad you’re looking at this positively. Aw, that’s no problem! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  6. ciaradalton · October 25

    This is so funny that you posted this, because I was literally just thinking about this today. One of my best friends and I seem to be drifting apart, and like you, I’ve been trying so hard to arrange things, and text her but nothing seems to change anything. It’s such a hard thing to just let go of, but I suppose that’s life!
    Great post X

    Liked by 2 people

    • thejouskablog · October 26

      Thank you! Oh, what a coincidence. I’m glad you could relate. It hurts when you can’t do anything about it, but it’s a part of life. Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. LairOfBooks · October 25

    LOVED this post! as sad as it may be, it is also like you said, a part of life. I have experienced this twice in my life & went through the different stages of the grieving process wondering what I may have done wrong. Ultimately letting go was best for me. Sometimes the other person is going through something all consuming & it will affect all of their personal relationships, such was the case with my friend. All you can do is wish them well & carry on knowing you played your role for whatever time that was 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • thejouskablog · October 26

      Thank you! I’m glad you could relate. Oh, I’ve totally been in that situation. The friendship gets to a point where you think of it as a burden to carry over your shoulders. But, in the end you realize that it’s time to let go. I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for sharing your experience. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • LairOfBooks · October 26

        Yes! & it’s honestly refreshing to see a post about this topic since we’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives. Thank you for writing about it 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • thejouskablog · October 26

        Very true, it’s an inevitable experience. That’s no problem! 🙂

        Like

  8. ChicNerdReads · October 25

    This is so relatable! I’ve been through this where you and friends just start drifting into two different directions and it’s sad because sometimes you ask yourself “how did we get here?” but I think its part of life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 26

      I’m glad you could relate! I couldn’t agree more. I’ve questioned myself a lot of times, but I’m glad I realized that it’s time to move on. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Sarah Angleton · October 25

    I’ve had to let go of friends. Most of those experiences occurred when we were young and rapidly changing as we tried to navigate our way to adulthood. Some I’ve semi-reconnected with, others I haven’t. As an adult, I have drifted away from friends, but have usually found that we drift back toward one another at times, too. It’s hard not to feel guilt, but I think that’s just the way relationships work sometimes in this strange world we live in where we are casually connected to so many, and personally connected to so few.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 26

      I’m glad you could relate! Oh, I’ve definitely experienced that. I guess it’s that stage in life where we undergo changes in relationships, which is completely normal. It’s great that you can connect with some of your friends. I love what you’ve said about being personally connected to only a few friends because that’s just the way friendships work in reality. Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Azia Willis · October 25

    I definitely know how you’re feeling. I feel like I’m still hanging on to one friendship I’ve had since high school, but I know I should probably let go. She never texts or calls first and she rarely thinks of me even though I think of her often. She was my best friend for a while but I guess we’ve grown apart since she moved cross-country. I’m tired of being the only one to try to keep the friendship going. Time to say good-bye 😥

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 26

      I’m glad you could relate! Oh, don’t worry about it. It hurts when you’re the only one making an effort to keep your friendship alive. It really does. But, in the end, you have to realize that it’s time to let go. It’s sad, but it’s a part of life. Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Jess (beaucoupbooks) · October 26

    I’ve let go of all my old friends, and there’s many reasons why this happened – our interests changed, new friends, and I just came to not like them very much, and so we just drifted apart. They kept telling me how shy I was and I realised the reason why was because I was almost scared of talking to them about the things I liked, hobbies, etc, because I knew they would tease me for it if it wasn’t to their tastes. I’m sure they got bored of me and dropped me but that’s okay. I do miss them in a nostalgic way, and I wish them well, but I don’t think I could go back to being friends with them. A great, thought-provoking post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 26

      Thank you! I’m glad you could relate. Oh, I’ve experienced this too. It’s crazy how the person you used to call your best friend is now a completely different person. I agree, the worst part is not being comfortable and free around them as you used to be in the past. I’m happy you’re dealing with this in a mature and positive way. Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. beeorganizedwithpamela · October 26

    I can relate. It’s hard when one moves away and then life just happens. For me I have seen it reverse also. Friends that we drifted away from have now drifted back. So I can see both sides. True friends it does not matter how often you speak. When you do it’s like no time had passed. I have no problem cutting loose “friends” who is negative and downers. They are not true friends and they only want you to wallow in their negativity. They are not happy for you when you have a success in your live. That is not a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 26

      I’m glad you could relate. Oh, that’s definitely true. There are some friends who will always be a part of your life irrespective of how much time you’ve spent apart. On the other hand, as you said, there are some friends that you have to completely let go of because you know the friendship isn’t going to be the same as before. Very well said, and I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. College Mate · October 26

    I’ve never felt guilty about leaving people behind. I’m usually just glad to be rid of the negativity. Many of these people often get themselves together after the dose of tough love and come back around very much changed. I just can’t spend the rest of my life trying to save people who don’t want to be saved. To win a war, you must begin with choosing your battles wisely. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 27

      I’m glad you’re being mature and positive about this! Very true, you should always surround yourself with people who bring a smile to your face rather than being surrounded with people who always pull you down. I love what you’ve said about choosing your battles wisely! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Nicky M · October 26

    I think this is something we all experience at one time or another. It’s perfectly healthy and normal – we change as people and so does what we want from a friendship, unfortunately sometimes our friends do not. You need to do what’s right for you. Always 🙂

    Like

  15. Zainab Sheikh · October 27

    My best friend and I haven’t been texting/talking regularly ever since we started College and I understand you. But, we have a great bond and even though we fight and argue a lot, we are still best friends. She’s more like a sister to me and understands me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · October 27

      Oh, I’m glad you could work it out! There are friends that you can never let go of, and you will always be close to them irrespective of the time you’ve spent apart. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Renate · October 27

    I feel like, as you grow up you realize that you grow apart from each other but you also find new amazing friends along the way and every friend is a chapter of your life. Lovely and important post!!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. forgivingjournal · November 21

    This is so helpful. Thank you, thank you! I just moved from NY to LA, and I used to live here. I’m working out who I’m still close to as friends and I appreciate your blog – reminds me of the freedom to choose. Many blessings, The Jouska!!!
    Loving,
    Debbie 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Eri Hunt · December 9

    Great post ! I totally agree don’t hold on to old friends. sometimes you just have to move on new friends will come along . Thanks for sharing !

    Liked by 1 person

  19. breakingthebarriersoflife · January 31

    I’ve let go a friend that I considered my best friend/sister since 4th grade, I’m now 19. We did every thing together but early last year things definitely changed. She was just so stuck on her boyfriend and really boys in general. I’d make plans to hang out with her and she’s let me down and bail. I’ve forgiven her plenty of times and that time was enough. It was time for us to grow up and letting her go about her life was the best choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thejouskablog · January 31

      Oh, I’ve definitely been there. From my personal experience, I know what you’re feeling and how disappointing it can be to be let down by your best friend. However, I’m glad to hear that you’ve taken the right decision. 🙂
      Thanks for sharing! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s